


Making It Work

by angelwings80



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Divorce, F/M, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Sansakeptasecret, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-01 13:01:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13998882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelwings80/pseuds/angelwings80
Summary: Jon and Sansa each went into their marriage with very different ideas of what their life was going to be like.  Sansa imagined loving her husband and having a bunch of kids, Jon just wanted her.  When Sansa accidentally gets pregnant, she knows Jon isn't going to be happy and makes a decision that changes the course of both of their lives.  Either they will find a way to make it work, or they will go their separate ways.  The balance is tipped because they both have to put their own wants aside because they no longer have the right to be selfish.





	1. Going Ghost

**Author's Note:**

> If it's crap, let me know and I'll chuck it. Otherwise, let me know and I'll go ahead and finish the second chapter I have going. =D

Jon knew it was only a matter of time before someone was going to hand him a stack of paperwork. He hadn’t seen Sansa in three months. Not since the day he came home from work to find all of her clothes gone and a few of her favorite things from their apartment. He remembered that morning in minute detail, his anger and her tears. What he couldn’t figure out is what had caused that fight and why that particular one had been the final nail in the coffin.

It wasn’t the first time they had discussed having children. Over the course of the five years they had been married, it had come up at least a few times a year, usually when one of Sansa’s friends kicked up pregnant. He wasn’t adverse to having kids per se but it wasn’t his priority. Both he and Sansa had their careers, he an engineer and her with her consulting firm she had started right after college. They were obsessed with each other, rarely spending more than a few hours away from one another when they weren’t at work. They had the life they had dreamed about all through high school and college. They had good jobs, a great apartment in the city, the ability to travel, and each other. 

Jon read through the divorce petition, noting that Sansa asked for absolutely nothing. Not a dime of spousal support or even her share of their apartment. She hadn’t even used any money from their joint bank account or credit cards, something that had initially alarmed him until her brother Robb told him she was fine. He still made sure her debit card was active in case she needed it. Another point of interest was her intention to keep her married name. She declined to have her maiden name reinstated. Jon wasn’t an expert at divorce but that seemed odd.

The last day of their marriage had started out normally. He walked into the kitchen, hair still wet from his shower and poured two cups of coffee. Adding the sugar and cream, he sat Sansa’s cup by her as she cooked scrambled eggs. Within a few minutes, they were sitting together at the breakfast bar, eating their food and talking. 

As Jon went back over it, he realized how strange their conversation was. He would liken it to the small talk you make at parties when you don’t know the person you’re speaking to personally, not the type of conversation you would have with your spouse. Sansa had seemed distant.

“Why are you so quiet this morning?” Jon asked. 

“I’m eating,” Sansa responded. “It’s a thing I do a few times a day.”

“Shit…it’s PMS time isn’t it?” He asked innocently. 

“No, Jon, it’s not. And maybe instead of attributing my bad mood to a hormonal imbalance, you could consider another source…you know…like you!”

“What the fuck did I do?” He demanded. 

“Nevermind,” Sansa said. “Nothing would change anyway.”  
“What do you mean? What needs changing?”

Sansa rolled her eyes. “Margaery is pregnant.”

Ah…this shit again.

“I assume that’s a good thing. Robb said they’d been going at it like rabbits to get pregnant,” Jon said. He was trying to keep the conversation light but he knew what was coming next.

“I wouldn’t know,” Sansa said. 

“Sans,” Jon said. “Let’s not do this again. We have already rehashed this to death and I still feel the same. I just don’t want to do the kid thing right now. I like our lives the way we are. I don’t want to share my wife.”

“I don’t think you ever want to do the kid thing,” she shot back. The tears welled up in her eyes, threatening to fall down her cheeks.

“No,” Jon said. “Probably not. You have to remember, I didn’t have the upbringing you did. My Dad fucked off and what was left of my Mom wasn’t all that noteworthy. You had the parents and siblings and white picket fence. I just….I wouldn’t be a good Father.”

Sansa left him sitting in the kitchen, a cold forkful of eggs in his hand. She didn’t say another word to him, staying in the shower until after he left for work. She didn’t respond to any of his texts or calls all day and when he got home, their apartment felt like a shell. Within minutes, he knew she was gone.

It took nearly two weeks for Jon to come to the realization that she wasn’t coming back. She didn’t answer her phone, her employees hadn’t seen her at work and none of her cards had been used. Finally Robb let him know that Sansa had gone to her parents house after making him promise to not go after her. At least there was some solace in that. It was a month after that until he realized this wasn’t going to get worked out, she intended to stay gone. 

Every day he waited with baited breath for the paperwork to be served on him and every day that it didn’t, he went to sleep dreading what the next day would bring. As he looked at them sitting on his desk, he had mixed feelings about it. On one side, the hammer had come down. The anxiety could go away and the fear of what was to come no longer held any weight. But on the other, he felt like his chest had been shredded. His very soul would pour out at her feet if she was standing in front of him. 

When he came back from being lost in his thoughts, his office was dark and everyone had obviously gone home. He looked at the clock, it was nearly seven. He had to quit spending all of his time in the office. It didn’t make the sting of going home any easier. It just gave him the foresight to see what his life was now and what it was going to be from here on.

When he got home, he tossed his stuff on the chair next to the door. Standing in the kitchen, he poured some Jameson into a glass, taking in down in one swallow before grabbing the bottle and heading for the shower. He stood under the hot water long enough for his fingers and toes to shrivel, taking swigs from the bottle of whiskey until the water went cold. Somehow he managed to throw on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt before dropping onto the couch. 

His fingers tapped his phone anxiously before he pulled up Sansa’s name on the screen. 

“Can we talk?” Send.

A second later, his phone dinged. He opened the message and his stomach sank. His text had been returned, undeliverable. He called only to hear a recorded message that the number was no longer in service. She had changed her number.

He pulled up Robb’s number.

Jon: “Tell Sansa I won’t sign the divorce papers unless we talk about it first.” Send

Within a few minutes, he got a response.

Robb: “You know she’s not going to see you.”

Jon: “She will if she wants this to be done and over with. I need to see her face-to-face.” Send.

Robb: “Why? It isn’t going to change anything.”

Jon: “I know that but I need her to tell me that we’re done.”

Robb: “I don’t want to be in the middle of this shit. You’re my best friend. She’s my sister. She has her reasons, mate.”

Jon: “So do I. Please just tell her.”

Robb: “I will but don’t hold your breath.”

Jon: “I haven’t taken a proper breath in weeks.”

Robb: “I know. I’m sorry. I’ll talk to her.”

Tossing his phone on the table, he looked around the living room. This wasn’t his home anymore. It looked like his home. It had all his shit in it. But it wasn’t home. He couldn’t smell the flowery scent of Sansa’s Cherry Blossom perfume she always wore. Even as light and airy as it was, the smell was always around the apartment. It was as if it had permeated the walls and the furniture but now it was gone. It had been replaced by the odor of cleaning products the housekeeper used twice a week, the icky furniture polish she used on the wood and the bleach she mopped the floors with. He made a note to himself to fire the housekeeper. He had only hired her because with Sansa not here, he wasn’t home enough to keep up on the housework and he refused to live like a pig if his wife were to decide to come back. Through his drunken haze, he felt something click. He knew what he was going to do. Picking up his phone again, he dialed Sam, his personal assistant.

“Jon,” Sam said. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah man, I’m fine. Listen, I know it’s late but I have something I need you to do and it needs to be done now. I’ll pay you extra overtime for this if you can pull it off.” Jon said.

“No worries. What do you need?”

Jon took a second, just in case a second thought wanted to pop up. Nothing. “I need you to put the apartment on the market. I’ll take a loss on it if I have to, I don’t care. Price it to sell.”

“Um…okay but where are you going to live?” Sam asked. “Did you get another place?”

“Not yet,” Jon said. “I also need you to look into homes outside the city. I’m getting the fuck out of here. At least three bedrooms and I want it on some land. Preferably away from people. Just make sure it’s close enough for me to commute in for work okay?”

“What is the timeline for this?”

“Yesterday.” Jon hung up. He knew he had been rude but he didn’t want to take the time to really think this one through. It wasn’t unheard of for people going through a divorce to make other massive changes in their lives. He didn’t want to stay in the apartment he and Sansa had chosen together. Every minute he spent within its walls felt like a noose tightening around his neck and he was done. This was going to be a clean break. A fresh start.

In the two months it took for Sam to get the apartment sold and find a suitable home in the countryside, Jon hadn’t heard from Sansa. He also hadn’t signed the divorce papers. The anxiety that had haunted him before returned as he waited to see what Sansa’s next step was. He didn’t have to sign the divorce papers, she could easily get a divorce by default, it would just take more time. But she didn’t even seem to be going that route. It was as if she had put a pin in it.

In the meantime, Jon had stayed in a hotel until the house was ready to move in. By the time the spring brought warmer days, he was comfortably in the new house and had even started dabbling in gardening. One of his new life rules was that he would no longer spend long hours in the office. It was his goddamn company and he was entitled to make the rules. He worked three to four days a week, the rest of his work being done from his office at home. Sam had seemed flustered to be promoted to general manager but his buddy was the only man he trusted to oversee the day-to-day operations of the firm and to ensure that all the projects stayed on schedule and within budget. Jon also quit wearing suits. The closet full of black and navy suits had been donated in the move and now his wardrobe consisted mainly of jeans and t-shirts with a few pairs of dockers and collared shirts for days he went into the office. He couldn’t say he was truly happy but he was finding a way to make life tolerable. Staying busy kept his mind away from the underlying cause of his new life until the day everything came crashing down around him.

Jon had been standing at the kitchen sink, washing dishes when the SUV came down the driveway. He dried his hands as he walked to the door and stepped out onto the porch. Robb’s white Lincoln Navigator parked next to his car and the engine turned off. When the door opened, Jon felt his legs go weak. It wasn’t Robb’s light red hair he saw but rather deep auburn hair…long auburn hair. Sansa. When she cleared the door, he fell to his knees.

Sansa was walking towards him. He hadn’t laid eyes on her in over five months. And she was very, very pregnant.


	2. Bringing it to the surface

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fallout from Sansa's surprise.

Jon couldn’t breathe. On his knees, his arms braced his upper body but he shook, regardless of how hard he flexed the muscles to regain control. His eyes were frozen on Sansa as she walked towards him, her fingers nervously pulling on each other. Their eyes met, Sansa’s darting slightly but his were fixed on her resolutely. His mind raced, explosions of understanding going off left and right. Months worth of questions answered in seconds. If he was a computer, he would be crashing right now. The thought made him grimace. He wasn’t a computer yet here he was, crashing.

“Jon,” Sansa whispered once she was standing in front of him. She tried to reach out to him but he jerked away as if her hand was on fire. “Jon….please.”

“Fuck you!” He roared. 

Sansa gasped, her hand coming to her mouth.

“You fucking bitch,” he growled. “Lying, manipulative bitch!”

“I didn’t fucking lie Jon!” She screamed. “I never lied!”

“Really? So you’re the size of a fucking boat because you’ve been eating the ass end of anything that holds still long enough?”

Sansa pursed her lips and sneered. “You better watch it fucker.”

Jon managed to get to his feet. He rubbed his face and beard, “You’re right. You may have tricked me into getting you pregnant, hidden it for months, and ended our marriage over it but me calling you fat is way out of line.”

“Yeah…well….I may be fat but you’re ugly!” Sansa blurted out. It sounded juvenile to her even as the words passed her lips.

Jon cocked his head, giving her an incredulous look. 

“Whatever,” Sansa said. “Are we going to talk about this or just keep exchanging insults until I drive away?”

“What is there to talk about really? You’re pregnant. And from the looks of it, a helluva long way into it. Why? Why did you do this to me?” He demanded.

“I didn’t do this to you Jon! We did this! The two of us!” Sansa shrieked.

“No…No, we didn’t do this. You made this choice for me! You went directly against what I wanted, something you knew I was hard core against and took my choices away! You didn’t care how I felt, you only thought about you!” Jon was practically panting. “You lied Sansa!”

“I didn’t lie, I swear. And it’s pretty lofty of you to be so angry about me taking choices from you when you are the one who did it to start with,” Sansa said.

“Really? How did I take your right…..”

Sansa interrupted him. “You refused to even entertain the idea of having children. You made the decision that we wouldn’t have children because you didn’t want it. You would deny me something as intrinsic as having a child because you didn’t want to face your own demons. I didn’t trick you into getting pregnant, it was a legitimate accident but you did take away my right to choose I I had a child or not.”

“Do you really expect me to believe this was an accident Sansa? Really? Margaery gets pregnant and you just happen to follow suit?” 

“You really are thick,” Sansa said. “I was already pregnant. I didn’t know how to tell you. I was afraid of how you’d react. I had known for a few weeks.”

“So rather than telling me,” Jon said. “You chose to end our marriage….”

“I had a choice between our child or our marriage,” Sansa said softly. “I opted for the one that didn’t end a life.”

Jon shook his head in disbelief. “You ended my life.”

“This doesn’t change anything. I don’t expect you to be involved. I won’t ask you for any child support,” Sansa said. “I just couldn’t keep hiding from everyone.”

“You only hid from me,” he said.

“As usual Jon, you’re wrong.” Sansa stepped onto the porch. “Only my parents know I’m pregnant.”

“Robb doesn’t know?” That gave him some solace. His best friend hadn’t betrayed him after all. 

“No. I wouldn’t even have told my parents if I didn’t need to go home for a while,” she said. “It seemed wrong when you didn’t even know.”

“Glad to know you have some sense of right and wrong in this,” Jon scoffed. “At what point do I get to have some input on this? What if I don’t want to give up my rights as the sperm donor?”

“You and I both know that you don’t want anything to do with this,” Sansa said. “I chose to keep this baby and since I didn’t consult you about it, you are under no obligation to do anything. You can just forget this happened.”

“I don’t want to forget this happened,” Jon said. He pointed at her belly. “That’s you and me in there. It’s all that’s left…of us.”

“It’s not what’s left of us,” Sansa said. “It’s a result of us. It’s everything.”

“How far along are you?” Jon asked.

“30 weeks,” Sansa said. “I was already almost done with my first trimester….”

“Yeah,” Jon said. “I figured as much. How long is a pregnancy?”

Sansa smiled. “40 weeks.”

“So, we’re going to be parents in a little over two months?” His eyes were wide.

“Yeah. Pretty much.

Jon took a deep inhale and blew the air out. “We have a lot of work to do in a short amount of time.”

“I already have most of the stuff for the baby,” Sansa said.

“I meant….we have a lot of work to do with us. We can’t let this babe be born with us at each other’s throats.”

“Is that even feasible?” Sansa asked.

“I won’t give you a divorce until the baby is born,” Jon said. “We owe it to them to stay married. I won’t have my kid being a bastard. And we need to fix us. I think you at least owe me that?”

Sansa nodded.

As she turned to walk back to the car, Jon put his hand on her shoulder to stop her. She didn’t turn around.

“I’m sorry I called you a bitch,” Jon said. “It will never happen again.”

“I deserved it,” Sansa said.

“No…you didn’t and you never would.”


	3. Making a mess of things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon and Sansa talk but the answer to problems isn't always easy.

Jon was surprised by how different he felt today in comparison to a few days ago.  After Sansa left that day, he spent yet another night in a bottle of whiskey, something he realized he was doing way too much as of late.  After a brief moment of clarity, he went through the house, pouring every drop of booze he found down the kitchen sink.  The days of feeling sorry for himself were over.  The days of feeling anything for himself were over.  He wanted to blame Sansa for that but after she explained how the pregnancy came about, he was just as much at fault.  If he was being honest, his drinking probably played a much bigger role in the pregnancy than anything.

The night in question stood out in Jon’s mind as one of the best night’s of their marriage.  He had taken his wife out to dinner to celebrate her company finally turning a real profit and both of them had few cocktails before coming home and finishing several bottles of wine as they lounged in the hot tub and made love under the stars. 

_Sansa met him, thrust for thrust.  She was wet and hot around him, he could still taste her on his lips and smell her all over himself.  Sansa cried out in between the endearing begging and pleading she always did as she got closer to orgasm.  Their hands were entwined tight enough to whiten their knuckles while his other hand wrapped around her throat, her auburn locks threading through his fingers.  He angled his hips to press his pelvis against her center with each push, his own control wavering as she began to pulse around him.  Her body arched, her head falling back letting him press his face against her chest as they reached their peaks together.  His orgasm went all the way to his toes, the release increasing in intensity as he watched her tense, a loud scream ripping from her throat.  They had fallen asleep on the lounge chair on the porch, the summer night warm enough that they wouldn’t need covering.  When they awoke with the sun in their eyes, he had pushed her onto her stomach, spreading her legs with his knee before entering her again.  Their morning lovemaking hadn’t been the wild, free-for-all of the night before but rather a slow, languid sort that allowed him to touch, kiss, and take in every part of her before she came apart in his arms and settled bonelessly into his embrace._

Had either of them been sober enough to think clearly, they would have remembered Sansa was taking a break from her usual birth control method before switching to another and they would have used protection, or at least, he wouldn’t have stayed inside of her when he came.  She hadn’t lied.  Nor was she solely responsible for this outcome.  It didn’t change the fact that he was angry, though now his anger was focused on himself more than her.  The realization that his wife was so afraid of his reaction that she would hide her condition and take the drastic action of ending their marriage over it made him sick to his stomach.  While she should have been an adult about it and faced the problem, her behavior was a reaction to his immaturity and stubbornness.  Neither of them were right when it came right down to it.

 

Jon had also realized that during the time she hid the pregnancy, any number of things could have happened and he wouldn’t have known what was wrong.  Just the stress she must have been suffering through could have been enough to have horrific consequences to both her and the babe.  Pregnancy is complicated enough without adding his bullshit into it.  

 

Sansa hadn’t been back since the day on the porch.  They had parted peacefully, the hateful words falling away.  He had even pulled her back against him in a hug and kissed her hair.  Jon hadn’t meant to make her cry but he missed her, to the point of desperation some days and the need to touch her took over any common sense he had in that moment.  It didn’t escape his notice that while she allowed him to bring her back against his chest, she made no motion to turn to him and embrace him beyond bringing her hand to his forearm and leaning her head into his.  

 

Jon regretted a great many things in his life, not working on having a good relationship with his Mother before she died, waiting too long to tell Sansa he was in love with her, and even refusing to speak to his Father but none of that had anything on what he was feeling at the moment.  He had everything with Sansa and he was too selfish to realize it.  Not having a child didn’t protect the child, it protected him from having to worry about screwing everything up.  Nobody knows how to be a parent.  People might have a general idea but it seems to be more of a boots on the ground type of thing.  You have to change and evolve with every new issue that comes up and that includes the relationship you have with your partner.  His biggest excuse for not wanting children was his need to keep Sansa to himself because he knew he was the luckiest bastard in the world to have a woman like her accept his last name.  

 

_Holy shit.  That’s why she’s keeping my last name.  For our baby.  She wants our baby to be a Snow, no matter what happens._

 

Jon grabbed his keys and practically ran to his truck.  His mind raced as he sped down the freeway towards the Stark home.  He desperately tried to put together a script of what he was going to say when he got there but as he turned onto the street they lived on, all of his internal dialogue disappeared and he was left to figure it out as he went.  For a split second, he thought he was going to throw up on the Stark’s front door after he rang the bell.  The image of Ned Stark staring down the man who got his daughter pregnant and left her on her own turning his legs to jelly.  What actually happened couldn’t have been farther from his imagination.  When the door opened, Ned smiled widely, stepping back and inviting him into the house.  Very few words were said before Ned pointed at the staircase to indicate that Sansa was in her bedroom.  

 

Jon knocked lightly, pushing the door open farther before stepping into the room.  Sansa was lying on her side, reading a book on her bed.

 

“What to expect when you’re expecting?” Jon questioned.

 

Sansa smiled.  “No.  A history of the Pict people in ancient Scotland but close.”

 

“Meh.  Tomato tomaaattto.  You always were the clever one.  I hope our kid gets your brains.”  Jon sat on the bed.  “I didn’t have your phone number and I figured I had to face the reaper eventually anyway.”  He did a hand motion to indicate Ned downstairs.

 

“What did you want to talk about?”  Sansa closed the book.

 

Laying down, he looked at her.  “I don’t know.  I just….I just wanted to see you.  How are you feeling?”

 

“Pregnant,” she chirped.  “It’s kicking the hell out of me these days.”

 

“It?  Haven’t found out if it has indoor or outdoor plumbing yet?”

 

Sansa shook her head.  “Nope.  I didn’t want to know if you didn’t know.  We already had enough of that going on.”

 

“Yeah…about that…no more.”  Jon played with the end of her hair closest to him.  “We’re not going to play games anymore.  We have always been honest with each other.  I want that part of us back.”

 

“Me too,” Sansa said.  “I wish it would have worked out differently.  I really do love you Jon.”

 

“I love you too,” Jon said sadly.  “We really know how to make a mess of things, don’t we?  I was surprised your Dad didn’t knock me out as soon as he saw me.”

 

“My Dad wants us to work our marriage out,” Sansa said.  

 

“It doesn’t really matter what everyone else wants,” Jon said.  “What do you want?”

 

“Is this the whole come home speech?” Sansa asked.

 

He shook his head.  “No..we’d eat each other alive right now and that wouldn’t be good for you and the bump.”  He pointed at Sansa’s belly.  “Besides, I sold our home.”

 

“I know,” she said.  “Pretty soon I need to find a place for the baby and I.  Mom and Dad want me to stay here but we need our space.  I’ve already looked at a few houses.  One is only a couple of blocks from your place actually.”

 

“That would certainly be convenient,” he said.  “I’ll help you get moved if you’d like.  How much money are you going to need to put down?”

 

“I’ll figure that part out,” Sansa said.  “I haven’t spent much living here so I’m pretty secure with that.”

 

“Sansa….stop it.  You know half the money from the apartment is yours plus half of what’s in the bank account.  I haven’t used any of it.”

 

“Why not?  You could have paid off your house already,” Sansa said.

 

“It wasn’t mine.”  Jon sat up, crossing his legs.  “And it would have gone to you in the divorce anyhow.  I didn’t want to have to make payments to you.”

 

“So you didn’t want to have any ties to me once the divorce was finalized.”  Her face was solemn.

 

“I have no intention of fucking you over.  I wanted to make sure you had what you needed to rebuild your life.  Money is the least of our concerns right now.”

 

“Good point,” Sansa said.  “Well, if you really want to help me, I’m going tomorrow to take a second look at that house up the road from you.  You want to meet me there?  I’d like to get your opinion since your kid will be living there.”

 

“Yeah.  Just text me the address and the time,” he said.  “I gotta get out of here though.  I have a project that needs to be to Sam by tomorrow morning and I haven’t even finished the rough draft yet.”

 

Jon stood up, reaching his hand out to help Sansa stand.  She followed him to the door of her bedroom, the two of them look at one another, not knowing what to do.

 

“Can I…?”  He pointed at her belly and was relieved when she nodded.  His finger touched the swell lightly before he spread his hand out flat on her belly.  For some strange reason, he had imagined it feeling like a water bed, not the firm flesh under his palm.  He leaned down, kissing her on the cheek, pausing for a second.  He felt a funny movement under his hand, like the baby was rolling over.  “It’s moving!”  His voice was high pitched and full of awe.

 

Sansa giggled.  “Yeah.  It’s like an alien.  But the doctor swears it’s human.”

 

“What a trip,” Jon said.  “This whole thing….man….”

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Sansa questioned.

 

“Yep.  My number is still the same,” he said.  “Take care of yourself, eh?”

 

“Go get that project done,” Sansa said.

 

He smiled as he walked down the stairs.  He had missed Sansa telling him to get his shit done.


	4. Baby Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title of the chapter came from our Ms. Janina's comment on the last chapter. =D

Sometimes Jon really wondered why he always fucked everything up.  Even as a teenager, he had been a disaster but at least then, the consequences were nothing more than being an outcast.  That he could deal with.  Now his mistakes were huge and had dire consequences, for both himself and especially Sansa.  The one person he’d rather shear his own heart out of his chest than to hurt.  And he had done it big time.

 

She was right.  He had given her every reason to be afraid of his reaction, and his stomach felt sick when he realized that she wasn’t just afraid of his response to the baby but of him.  Sansa had to know he’d never lay a finger on her, no matter what but it was obvious that at some point, he had intimidated her enough to fear him.  Mental and emotional abuse could be much worse than physical abuse, he had learned that from watching everything his Mother had gone through.  And now he was the perpetrator of that abuse.

 

_That feels like a kick in the balls._

 

Jon laid on his back, he was staring at the ceiling even though his bedroom was pitch dark and there was nothing to see.  He had been like this for over two hours now, sleep evading him as he went back over every bit of the conversation he had with Sansa that afternoon.  It was the first time in months they had spoken really, at least cordially.  He had even touched her belly and felt their baby move under her skin.  It had made him feel some kind of way but he couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was.  The physical sensation was almost creepy but it was the other reactions he had that made him question everything.  He had always been protective of Sansa but now he felt a different kind of protective.  Like his natural instinct was multiplied by a thousand.  Jon wouldn’t have identified it as love per se but he was certainly aware that the bump and movement was an extension of him and Sansa….and against all expectations, he was drawn to it.  He understood exactly what Sansa meant when she had said the baby was what was left of the two of them.  The thought made him sad.

 

Jon always hoped that if he had kids, he would do better than his parents had done with him.  But here he was, a matter of days into his fatherhood and he had already fucked it up beyond all correction.  In fact, he had blown it away months and months before he even knew what had happened.  He was that fucked up.

 

It also hadn’t escaped his notice that Sansa made no mention of them getting back together, even for their kid.  She knows he has a house big enough to manage it but she didn’t so much as hint at it.  Obviously, she was trying to make decisions based on what was best for all three of them in considering the house close to him but it bothered him that reconciliation wasn’t even on the table.  The thought made him want to drink himself to sleep but he wasn’t going to do that anymore, he would have to rely on nature taking its course.

 

The shower helped him wake up.  The several cups of coffee helped even more.  He wanted to get moving early so he could check out the house Sansa was considering before he picked her up.  He knew which one she was talking about, he had looked at it himself before putting the offer in on his house.  It was a nice place but when he had gone through it before, he had been looking at it as a single guy, not a new Mom with an infant.  Sam had arranged for the realtor to give him the access code to the key box so he was able to pick it apart and make notes as he went room to room.  He had been at the house for about an hour when he received the text from Sansa.

 

“I’m headed over to the house now.”  

 

“I can pick you up.” Send.

 

“It’s okay.  I’ll meet you there.”  She had put in the address, not knowing Jon was already there.

 

“I’ll be here.” Send.

 

“Here?”

 

“I already knew which house.  I have the key.  See you in a few.” Send.

 

He didn’t want to lie to her.  They had already agreed to stay on the up-and-up with one another and not divulging his knowledge of the house seemed questionable, even a little creepy.  He was busy checking out the electrical when he heard the car door close and went to the front door.

 

“Hey,” he said.  He held open the door for her, closing it behind her as she entered the foyer.  

 

“Good Morning,” Sansa said.  “You seem to have been busy already.”

 

“Couldn’t sleep,” Jon said.  “Sam was able to get the key box code so I came over to look things over, check for problems and whatnot.”

 

Sansa raised an eyebrow at him.  “That’s very considerate of you but I can manage you know.”

 

“I do know,” Jon said.  “You were the one who found the apartment.  I just want to help.  It’s a lot of work and in your condition, you know, you really shouldn’t be doing all this.”

 

Sansa rolled her eyes.  “I like the light in here.  Is it like this through the rest of the house?”

 

“No,” Jon said.  “But we can have a contractor come in and open up the ceiling and put in some more windows and whatnot if you’d like.  I was also thinking that we could expand the nursery by taking out the wall in between the nursery and the smaller side office there…”. He pointed down the hallway towards the bedrooms.  “You could use the other bedroom as an office.”

 

“I don’t really have time to make major changes right now,” Sansa said.  “I only have 10 weeks before the baby comes and everything would need to be done before that.  Plus, that would be so expensive and I can’t justify the cost right now.”

 

“Yeah…that makes sense.  And you probably haven’t even decided which place you want anyway.  I’m getting ahead of myself as usual.”

 

“I wouldn’t say that,” Sansa said.  “You just tend to be one of those get it done kind of people.”

 

“Clearly.” Jon pointed at her belly and laughed.

 

Later that day, Jon called the realtor to find out what the seller was asking for.  It was steep but if he put down the cash he held onto from the sale of the apartment, the payments would be well within reason for Sansa.  Especially if he was giving her child support and alimony, a figure he had already worked out with Sam.  The afternoon was waning and he had dinner plans with some work colleagues and someone named Val.  Grenn had been trying to set him up with the woman for a while now but Jon hadn’t been interested.  He’d been left with no choice when Grenn had texted him an hour ago to let him know Val would be joining them.

 

_The sneaky bastard._

 

When he got to the restaurant, he saw Grenn, Pyp, and Sam with a young woman he assumed was Val.  Grenn hadn’t been joking, she was a stunner.  Blond hair that fell at her waist and legs that seemed to go on forever.  When they were introduced, Jon saw that she had blue eyes but not the pretty sapphire color of Sansa’s.  She was wearing a dress that seemed glued to every curve of her body.  

 

As the night progressed, the woman proved to be insanely intelligent and sexy with a quick wit.  Every time he noticed something about her, he immediately compared it to Sansa.  From the way she smiled to the subjects she discussed.  Val was very academic and her interests refined and classic.  She was a corporate attorney, someone who, on paper, would be a perfect match for Jon.  But she wasn’t Sansa.  He loved the arbitrary nature of the conversations he had with Sansa.  One moment they could be discussing ancient civilizations and the next, if Yorkshire pudding could be made with jelly beans for Easter.  Sansa wasn’t siren sexy, her personality lent itself naturally to a goofy, simple kind of sexy that never failed to turn him on.  Her hair in a messy bun, thick black rimmed glasses falling down her nose….the way her sweatpants clung to her hips, showing just enough skin between her waistband and the hem of her tank top.  He was lost remembering all the times he had taken advantage of that gap by kissing her there when Grenn pulled him out of his thoughts.

 

“So we’re gonna head mate,” Grenn said.  “Would you mind giving Val a lift home?”  There was a silly grin on his face.

 

Jon rolled his eyes.  “Grenn….”

 

“Just a ride,” Grenn said.  “You don’t have to fuck her if you don’t want to.”

 

“I’m not going to fuck her,” Jon said.  “But this isn’t a good idea….”  Before he got the words out, Grenn and the rest of his buddies were barreling out the door, leaving him with Val and an uncomfortable silence between them.

 

_Bastards._

 

He entertained the idea of firing at least half of them, clearly they had forgotten he was their boss but that would be a shit move.  They were just blokes trying to get their friend laid.  It would be nearly as bad if said friend wanted to get laid.

 

Jon stood up, picking Val’s coat from the back of her chair.  He held it up to help her get it on.  “I’ll drop you at your place on the way home.  Obviously Grenn has forgotten how to be a gentleman.  I’ll make sure to notate that in his annual review.”

 

Val smiled.  “Why thank you kind sir.”

 

Jon held the car door open for her but gritted his teeth once she was in and he was walking to the driver side.  He could only imagine what this looked like and Winterfell had a habit of whispering stories.

 

Pulling up outside Val’s apartment complex, Jon didn’t bother killing the engine, something he was sure the woman had noticed.  Her attempt at small talk was awkward but he went with it until her hand found his calf and squeezed.  His stomach was in knots and he can feel a fine sheen of sweat on the back of his neck.  He struggled with what to say until his phone rang, it was Ned Stark.

 

“Hello?” Jon said.

 

“Jon,” Ned said.  “You need to head down to the hospital.  Sansa has had a rough night and she’s contracting.”

 

“It’s too early!” Jon said.  “I’m on my way.  I’m only a few minutes out.”

 

Jon hung up the phone, turning to Val.  “I have to go.”

 

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

 

“I’m not sure,” he said.  “My wife is having contractions and the baby isn’t due for a while.”

“You’re fucking married?” Val’s tone was icy.

 

“Yeah,” Jon said.  “The wedding ring wasn’t just for show.”

 

“You could have said something,” Val responded.  “This whole night was a waste.”

 

Jon just shook his head.  “Please, I have to go.”

 

Val went to get out of the car but Jon grabbed her arm.

 

“For what it’s worth,” Jon said.  “This had nothing to do with me.  Grenn set it up without my permission and I didn’t even know you would be going out with us tonight.  And I never had any intention of doing anything with you…but…it’s not because you aren’t spectacular.  You really are but…I’m married, no matter what is going on otherwise.  Right?”

 

“Sure,” Val said as she got out of the car.  She didn’t exactly slam the door but it wasn’t the way most people would close a vehicle door.  He was going to kill Grenn for this.

 

His heart was pumping out of his chest by the time he got to the hospital.  Catelyn and Robb were standing outside smoking a cigarette when he walked up.

 

“Where’s Sansa?” Jon huffed.

 

“Room 203,” Catelyn said.  “Ned is with her.  Don’t worry, she’s okay.  Just a false alarm.”

 

Jon nodded and went to the elevator.  It was almost unsettling how congenial her parents were with him considering everything that had happened.  

 

When he got to Sansa’s room, he took a deep breath and steadied himself before entering.  It wouldn’t do to have her concerned over him being panicked.  Ned gave him a nod before kissing Sansa on the head and leaving to give them some privacy.

 

“You’re dressed might fancy,” Sansa said.  “Out on the town?”

 

“Are you okay?” Jon asked.

 

“Yeah,” she said.  “Doctor said I just got tired out and it made the false contractions stronger.  We’re fine.  He’s keeping me overnight just in case.”

 

“Sounds like a good idea,” Jon said.  “Have you eaten yet?”

 

“Just lunch,” she said.  “Mum was cooking dinner when it happened.”

 

“That was hours ago San,” he said.  “I’ll go get something to eat and some drinks.  It’ll be a long night so I’ll grab a few snacks too.”

 

“You can go home Jon,” she said.  “I’m just going to relax and I’ll be out of here in the morning.”

 

“I’ll be back,” he said.  Grabbing his car keys, he went back downstairs, telling the Starks what he was doing before he left.  They agreed to stay until he returned.

 

When he got back, he found all of them in her room, engaged in something of an argument.  He heard Catelyn first.

 

“Sansa,” she said.  “He is the Father of your child.  He has the right to be here and know everything.  And you know how Jon is, he’s not going to have it any other way.”

 

“He hasn’t been involved until now,” Sansa said.  “So he doesn’t need to bother.”

 

“He wasn’t involved because you didn’t tell him,” Ned said.  “You both made mistakes in this but nothing but right now matters.  Quit trying to push him away.  You both have to deal with the problem you created.”

 

“I will deal with it,” Sansa said.  “He’s only doing this because he feels obligated.  I don’t want to mess up his life with this.”

 

“I think I’ll decide what is going to mess up my life.”  Jon walked into the room, setting the bags on a cabinet next to the sink.  “Ned…Catelyn….”

 

The Starks said their goodbyes and mercifully made a quick exit.  Jon unpacked the food, dishing it onto the plastic plates before handing it to Sansa.  He poured her a glass of milk and set it on the side table.

 

“Eat,” he ordered.  

 

“Jon…”

 

“Eat.  Then we will discuss what’s going to happen,” Jon said.

 

Sansa took a bite of the roast beef and within minutes had cleaned her plate.

 

“I knew you were hungry,” Jon said.  He took the plate, tossing it in the trash and handed her the glass of milk.  “Drink.  Or you’ll get heartburn from the horseradish.”

 

“My parents are overreacting,” Sansa said.  “I can manage this on my own.”

 

“I know you can,” Jon said.  “But you’re not going to.”

 

“Even if we’re working together, I’m still going to be doing this as a single Mom.  I mean, look at us, I’m sitting here in a hospital gown and you’re dressed for a date.”

 

Jon chuckled.  “So are you jealous because of the perceived freedom or…the thought of me going on a date?”

 

“Fuck off,” Sansa barked.  “I assumed you got right back in the game…I just don’t like to know about it.”

 

“I wasn’t on a date San,” Jon said.  “I went out with Grenn and Pyp.  Grenn tried to surprise me with a friend of his but I didn’t take the bait.  I haven’t….taken any bait shall we say.”

 

“I’m supposed to believe you?” Sansa asked.

 

“I haven’t made a habit of lying to you,” Jon responded.  “Her name was Val.  She was hot as fuck.  Blonde.  An attorney at the firm that represents Snow Engineering.”

 

“Great,” Sansa said.  “I’m sure she was quite a treat in comparison to your fat pregnant wife.”

 

“There is no comparison,” Jon said softly.  “You’re the only game in town for me.  And…I kind of like you all fat and pregnant.  I really like that you still consider yourself my wife.”

 

Sansa looked down at her fingers.

 

“Look,” Jon said.  “I don’t know how we’re going to work this one out.  I really don’t.  But I don’t want you to buy that house to live in.”

 

“So you don’t want me living close to you?” She asked.

 

“Yes, I do actually.”  Jon sat down on the bed.  “Here’s what I’m thinking…and before you argue with me, hear me out.  We’ll buy that house.  It’s a great price and good location.  But….I want you to live with me, at least until after the babe is born…you can have your own room and bathroom….and if the living arrangement works, we make it permanent and we use the other house as a rental property.  It would be a source of income for you.”

 

“Jon,” Sansa said warily.  “That’s going make this so much more complicated.”

 

“See, I don’t think it will.  I think it will make everything much easier.  We can both be in on what’s going on with the pregnancy.  If you need me, I’ll be right there.  And working on our marriage will be a lot easier if we’re sharing space, not making phone calls and meeting up here and there.”

 

“I don’t think our marriage is salvageable,” Sansa said.  “We’ve already done too much damage.”

 

“There’s only one way we’re going to find out,” Jon said.  “And if it doesn’t work, you’ll still have the house and hopefully all the renovations will be done at that point.  It was going to be the same thing whichever way it went.  It’s just that instead of living with your parents during the work, you’ll be living with me.”

 

“In your house?”

 

Jon took her hand.  “In our home.”


	5. I'm still here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa moves in with Jon and has a few surprises.
> 
> Neither knows where they stand but realize it's a work in progress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ended up being a longer chapter. It's very dialogue heavy but from here on, there's going to be more progress in the actual story. 
> 
> I am doing better with my formatting now that I'm adapting to the Mac iOS.
> 
> I have taken some liberties with the environment of Winterfell. Rather than it being a winter wasteland, I have made it a more seasonal place in addition to it being seaside.

Jon fidgeted with the ring on his index finger.  It was a two carat princess cut solitaire, Sansa’s engagement ring.  She had left it on the night stand when she left though he wasn’t sure if it was intentional or an oversight.  Every night she took her engagement ring off but kept her wedding band on, she still had the band on her finger.  He could drive himself crazy overthinking every little thing, he was starting to wonder if he was.

The next morning Jon stood In the Stark’s front room, waiting for Sansa to come downstairs. Even as congenial as Ned and Catelyn had been, he still felt shame creeping up his neck when he remembered the last time he was standing in this same room, the day he asked Ned for Sansa’s hand in marriage.  He had made promises and here he stood having broken those promises.  

In the two weeks since Sansa had gotten out of the hospital, everything had been calm.  Her doctor had even given her permission to go back to work if she wanted to but they had agreed that with everything going on and the move in progress, it would be better for her to wait until after the birth to return to work.  In the meantime, she had put in an offer on the house and it was accepted.  Jon was impressed with Sansa’s negotiation skills, she paid nearly a third less than what they wanted.  Though in Jon’s opinion, that was much closer to what the house was actually worth.  Sansa always had been the deal finder.  Jon had mixed feelings on the purchase of the house.  He was happy because she was happy.  The day she found out her offer had been accepted, the joy on her face was infectious.  On the flipside, it meant that most likely Sansa would be moving not long after the babe came.  He was still hopeful that their living arrangement would work out and the house would end up being a rental rather than his family’s home.  A home he wouldn’t be with them in.

Most of Sansa’s things had already been moved to the house.  Jon had meticulously unpacked everything and put it away though knowing his wife, she was going to rearrange every drawer when she got there.  Robb had helped, putting together the furniture and painting both Sansa’s bedroom and the nursery.  

“Sansa will be down in a few minutes,” Catelyn said. “Come into the kitchen for a cup of tea.”

Jon smiled.  “Yes, ma’am.”  He followed Catelyn into the kitchen, sitting on the stool she had pointed at.  A few minutes later he had one of Mrs. Stark’s perfect cups of tea sitting in front of him.

“You two have made a lot of progress,” she said.

“I hope so.”  Jon added milk to his tea.  “It hasn’t been easy.”

“Nothing worth having ever is,” Catelyn said.  “None of this was ever going to be easy but…regardless of the circumstances…..Ned and I want you to know that we are very proud of you Jon.  And we still consider you family, no matter how this plays out.  You aren’t just Sansa’s husband.  You are our son’s best friend and the Father of our grandchild.  You’ve always been the kind of man we prayed Sansa would fall in love with.”

Jon pursed his lips, pushing the ache in his chest down.  “I don’t think she’s in love with me anymore.”

“Yes, she is.  And you are still very much in love with her.”  Catelyn pushed the bowl of sugar across the counter to him.  “Sansa is playing it safe right now.  She has a lot on her plate and she doesn’t want to risk going back through the heartbreak she suffered when you two first split.  But she loves you just as much as the day you married.  She just has a habit of being stubborn.”

Jon smirked.  “Can’t imagine where she got that.”  He flinched when Catelyn playfully slapped his arm.  “In all seriousness though, I don’t know what we’re going to do.  This is fucked whichever way you look at it.”  

Catelyn raised an eyebrow at him.

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly.  “I know better. Sansa said she’ll kill me if I curse in front of the baby.”

From behind him, he heard Ned laugh.  He looked down at his cup, shame overtaking him.  “Ned…I really am sorry this happened.  I promised both of you that I would take care of her and I screwed that all up.  She deserved better.”

Slapping him on the back, Ned sat down next to him.  “Yes, she does.  But you’re going to do better.  I know you will.  You’ve never been a man to shirk his responsibilities or…be unkind.”

Jon felt the tears well up in his eyes.  “I called her a bitch.”  He dropped his face into his hands.

“I heard,” Ned said.  “But you won’t do it again.  That was in a moment.  We all have them.”

“You’ve done it?” Jon looked up at Ned.

Ned huffed.  “No.  I married a Tully.  If you think Sansa’s hell on wheels, keep in mind, she’s a watered down version of her Mother.  I didn’t want to worry every time I went to sleep.”

“I never should have done it, no matter what.”

“No, son, you shouldn’t have,” Ned said.  “But, it’s in the past and as I said, you won’t do it again right?”

Jon shook his head.  “No.  Never again.  I just wish I knew what I was going to do.”

“You’re going to love her,” Ned said.  “It’s all you can do.  Even if it isn’t as your wife, you’re going to love her as your friend and the Mother of your child.  And respect her.  She’s about to give you a gift you can’t possibly imagine until that babe is in your arms.  When the dust settles, both of you gave something to each other that nobody else can.”

Jon heard footsteps coming down the stairs.  From the clomping, he knew it was Sansa.  He went to the front room to see her making her way down, several bags over her shoulder and a suitcase in her hand.  He ran up the steps, taking the bags from her over her protests.

“Stop,” he said.  “I got the bags.  You carry the extra human, eh?”

He heard Ned laugh again.  Ned helped Jon get the bags in the car while Sansa talked with Catelyn in whispers.

“Woman talk,” Ned said.  “They’re probably plotting our demise.  Well…yours anyway.  I’m good this week.”

Jon laughed to spite himself.  “I’m going to get her home.”

Ned opened the passenger door and held it open as Jon walked Sansa over.  “Ready?”

“Yep,” Sansa said.  “I guess so.  But I’m telling you now, this is just a test run.  You piss me off and I’ve already got my own place.”

“You’re pregnant Sansa,” Jon said.  “I’m going to piss you off.”

Sansa scowled at him.

As they drove down the driveway, Jon looked over at Sansa.  It was the first time they had been in their car together since the day she left.  He fought the urge to reach over for her hand, something he always did before…not because he didn’t want to but because he didn’t want to feel the sting of rejection.  She had let him touch her belly, and show small signs of affection but she was still very guarded.  He couldn’t blame her, he was too.

Pulling up to the house, Jon helped Sansa out of the car and up the steps to the porch.  He unlocked the door and walked in, turning to find Sansa still standing outside.

“You okay?” He asked.  The look of apprehension on her face alarmed him.  “Sansa?”

“Yeah….” She whispered absently.  “It’s just weird to be moving into a house I’ve never even stepped foot in.  This is your house.”

“How about you just come in,” Jon said.  “It will feel like home before you know it.  And if it doesn’t, we’ll do whatever you want to make it home for you.”

Jon could see her trepidation.  It bothered him a lot.  Never, in all the years they had spent together had she been nervous around him.  He took her hand in his, catching her off guard, her eyes met his.

“You have nothing to worry about San,” Jon assured her.  “I’m never going to….things are going to change, you have my word.”

“I’m going to take you at your word,” Sansa said.  “And I don’t have a choice.  My back and feet are killing me right now.”

Jon choked out a laugh.  “Come on preggo.”

Jon kept her hand in his, pulling her gently through the door.  He watched her intently as she scanned the front room.  Her eyes went over the furniture, around the walls, and finally settled on the fireplace mantle where he had pictures of them from their teenage years to their wedding to the holiday they took in Mexico a few months before they split.  

“It’s all our stuff,” she said.  “You kept all of our stuff.”

“Um, sort of.”  Jon felt his cheeks flush.  “I had it in storage.  When you agreed to live with me, I switched out my furniture with our furniture.”

“You took our furniture out of storage?  Our pictures?”  She was still looking around the room.

“The pictures never went into storage,” Jon said.  “They’ve been here the whole time.  But otherwise, yeah.  The bed in your room is our bed.  We can get a different one if you’d prefer but it was brand new and I know you loved it.”

“Where do you sleep?” She asked.

“In my bedroom,” Jon said.  “I have a bed.  I even have some of those throw pillows you always kept around.  I didn’t go full caveman when you left.”

Sansa opened her mouth to say something but then closed it, at a loss for words.

“You tired?” He asked.

“Yeah.” She sighed.  “I always am though.”

“Come.” He held his hand out to her.  He was relieved when she took it, following him up the stairs.  “This is your room.”  He pointed at the door on the left.  “Your stuff is already in here.  The bathroom is through there.  I got you some of that apple shampoo you like.”

Sansa half-smiled.  “It seems like you got a lot of things I like.”

“I want you to feel at home,” he said.  “Go ahead and lay down.  I’ll bring you some lunch.”

Sansa sat on the bed slowly.  “You even kept the bedding.”

Jon smiled sadly.  “I’ll be right back.”

When he returned with a sandwich and some soup, he found Sansa softly snoring, lying on top of the duvet.  He sat the tray down, picking up an afghan and covering her up.  He leaned against the wall, sinking down to the floor and watched her sleeping.  He woke up to Sansa putting the afghan on him and was startled for a moment when he opened his eyes to meet with hers.  The shock made him quiver until he realized where he was and what was going on.

“Shit,” he said.  “Sorry, I must have dozed off.”

“Were you watching me?” She asked.

“Yeah.  I wasn’t being creepy or anything, I just sat down and fell asleep I guess.”  He got himself to his feet.  “I brought you some lunch but it’s probably not edible now.”

“I wouldn’t think so,” Sansa said.  “I’ll make dinner.  It’s already getting dark outside.”

Jon grabbed her arm as she turned towards the door.  “I have a better idea, how about we go out to dinner tonight?  We can go to the Italian place downtown that you like.”

“Guido’s?”

“Yeah.  I’ll comb my hair and we’ll head out,” he said.  “It’s a nice night to go out on the town.”

Sansa slowly nodded.  “Sure.  That sounds good.”

When Jon got to his bedroom, he took a deep breath.  Their communication had gotten a lot better over the previous few weeks but there was still a discomfort.  He had picked up on her trepidation and if he was being honest, he was a giant balls of nerves.  He worried that everything he said to her would upset her, be taken the wrong way…or even worse, the anger he had pushed down to his core would find it’s way back to the surface and explode.  He had tried to convince himself that he had come to terms with everything but he knew he still had the anger and resentment within him.  He also wasn’t naive enough to believe that Sansa didn’t too.  

As he came around the corner to the front room, he saw Sansa standing in front of the fireplace, looking at the photographs of them together.  She had changed into a strapless ankle length dress and her hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail.  He walked up behind her, gently putting his hand on her shoulder.

“That was the night you drank all that tequila and I had to carry you back to the hotel through all that sand on the beach,” he said.  “I was sore for days after that!”

“I remember,” Sansa said.  “Well….I remember the hangover.  That was the last time I ever touched tequila.”

“You were always more of a white wine girl anyway,” Jon said.  “You ready?”

“Yep.  Let’s go.”

Dinner was surprisingly enjoyable.  Sansa ordered her usual fettuccini Alfredo with the grilled chicken while Jon stuck with his lasagna.  Their conversation was simple, nothing more than small talk and general subjects.  Afterwards, they walked down the path towards the harbor.

“I’ve thought about buying a boat,” Jon said.  “I think it would be cool to be able to sail around Winterfell and maybe even take a longer trip.”

“You don’t know how to sail,” Sansa said.  “We’d end up lost at sea.”

“You’d want to go with me?” He asked.

“I went with you to every Star Wars movie,” Sansa said.  “Even the one that fucking irritating duck thing.  Getting on a boat and sailing to my demise would be preferable.”

Jon laughed.  “Jar Jar Binks…he wasn’t a duck…he was an alien…I think.”

“He was a space duck,” Sansa quipped.  “We’ll meet in the middle.”

Jon helped Sansa down to sit on the dock, both of their feet hanging just above the water.  He took Sansa’s sandals off so they didn’t fall off.

“Wanna know a secret?” He asked.  Sansa nodded. “I really didn’t like Star Wars until that movie,” he said.

“Then why did you insist that we go?” 

He looked down at his lap to try to hide his smirk.  “I was a 17-year-old boy dating the prettiest girl in school.  It was an excuse to spend two hours in the dark with you.  To this day I couldn’t tell you what the movie was about but I sure do remember getting to cup your breast.  First time I had ever touched one.”  He chuckled.

“Oh, I’m sure you’ve touched more than your fair share now,” Sansa said.  Her expression was an attempt at humor but there was something else in it.

Jon shook his head.  “You’re the only woman I’ve ever touched, Sansa.”

“You really didn’t hook up with the girl that night I had to go to the hospital?”  

“I told you I didn’t touch her,” Jon responded.  “If I recall, I made it clear that I hadn’t been involved with anyone.”

“I just don’t know what to believe,” Sansa said.  “I mean, you really have every right to do what you want.  We’re not together.  I don’t want you to waste your life over me.”

“It hasn’t been that long since we split up,” Jon said.  “I don’t know when I’ll be ready to move on from us.”

They both stared out at the water, the moonlight making it look like glitter.  The warm air had just a pinch of chill, the smell of the ocean filling their nostrils.  Several minutes passed, the quiet being broken by an almost inaudible sound.  Jon turned to Sansa, her face was down but he could see her chest heaving with sobs she was trying to hide.  Heavy tears streamed down her cheeks and Jon felt like his heart was cracking in two.  He reached over, putting two fingers under her chin and lifting her face to look at him.

“Sans….please don’t cry,” he whispered.  “It’s going to be okay.”

Her sobs got harder.  “You’re beautiful Jon.  And funny.  And kind.  And just lovely.  Eventually you’re going to meet someone that’s going to take all of that away from me.  Friends drift apart, eventually I’m just going to be someone you knew.”

“That can’t happen with us,” Jon said.  “We have a child together.  We are tied together no matter what.  Even if we didn’t have this baby, we’ve always been friends.  That’s never going to change.”

“You’ll love someone else,” she said.  “They’ll have your heart.”

Jon moved closer to her, leaning in and using the fingers under her chin to pull her face towards him.  He brushed his lips across hers before pressing his forehead against hers.  He could feel the wetness from her tears and licked his lips, the salty taste hitting his tongue.  Both of their breathing was uneven.  He closed his eyes and took her mouth with his, the familiar taste of Sansa spreading through him and warming him.  The kiss was cautious and gentle, both of them unsure of themselves until Jon felt the tug of her fingers in his hair as she held his mouth to her.  When they broke the kiss, both of them were breathless, their hands staying in place on one another.

“I can’t give someone something I don’t have,” Jon said.  One of Sansa’s hands fell to his chest, over his left pectoral.  He cupped her hand, holding it in place.  “I miss you Sansa.  I miss you so much.”

“I’m right here,” she said.  “I’m here Jon.”

“Me too.”  He kissed her cheek before pulling back and standing up.  He offered her his hand and helped her put her shoes back on.  “Let’s go home.”


	6. Making Progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon gets to go to the doctor with Sansa...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of a mature chapter here....

It had been several days since their night on the dock.They were settling into life as roommates well but neither had mentioned that kiss.It was as if it never happened from what Jon could tell.But it had.

Jon laid in bed at night thinking about that kiss.Her lips were so soft when she was crying.He remembered that vividly from their years together but most of the time, her tears were from happiness.These were not, these were sheer heartbreak in an observable form.That’s where Jon got lost.He didn’t get it.She was the one who left him.Months with no contact and now she was hurting over the idea of him moving on with someone else.Did she legitimately want him or did she just not want him to be with someone else?He wasn’t sure how to approach the subject with her so he remained just as closed off as she seemed to be.They had bigger issues to deal with anyhow.Their baby was due in a matter of weeks and outside of the painting and building of the furniture, they hadn’t sorted much else out.They had an appointment the following day, the last sonogram before the birth.

“Are we going to find out what we’re having?” Jon asked.

“We can,” Sansa said.“Do you want to know?”

“Ultimately, it’s up to you but I would like to know,” Jon said.“It would make the baby more real if we knew it was our son or our daughter.”

“Then we’ll find out but I don’t want to tell anyone until the baby is born,” Sansa said.“This is something we keep for ourselves.”

“I think that’s a wonderful idea,” Jon said.“This whole thing has been a reality show.I like just us knowing this part of it.”

When the doctor came into the room, she seemed surprised to see a man sitting next to Sansa. 

“Hi, I’m Dr. Tarly,” she said.She extended her hand for Jon to shake.

“Dr. Tarly, this is my husband, Jon Snow.”Jon glanced at her.

“Jon Snow!Yes!My son works for you.Sam is my boy,” she said. 

“Oh yeah, Sam.He doesn’t work for me, he works with me.He’s my business manager at Snow Engineering,” Jon said.Somehow it didn’t surprise him that Sam would come from a background of brilliant people.His Dad was probably a rocket scientist or some shit.“I can’t imagine anyone else I would trust more to run the company when I’m not there.”

“How funny.I don’t know why I never connected that Sansa Snow would be married to Jon Snow,” she mused.“There’s not many Snow’s in Winterfell.”

Jon just smiled.

“Right,” she said.“So you two would like to go into the home stretch knowing if this little one is a boy or a girl?”

Sansa seemed giddy.“Yes, Dr. Tarly.Now that Jon is here, it’s time to find out what this package contains.”

“Well then, let’s get to it.”She pulled up Sansa’s shirt, squirting the clear gel on her belly before pressing a wand to the skin.She moved it around, pressing hard in some areas until Sansa’s belly started moving on it’s own accord. 

Jon watched the screen, trying to decipher what he was looking at.The image was 4D so he had a good idea of what everything was but it looked so peculiar.“Looks like this little one doesn’t like being poked at, eh?” He joked.

“Okay, so we are at the moment of no return.I can see what this baby has between it’s legs.Are you sure you want to know?”

Both Jon and Sansa said, “Yes!” At the same time.

Dr. Tarly smiled widely.“You are having a boy.”

Jon’s chest swelled.His heart threatening to beat out of his chest.A boy.A son.He looked at Sansa, his eyes welling up with tears.“We’re having a little boy San.”

“I know!Are you happy?Is this what you wanted?” She asked.

“I want you and this baby healthy,” Jon said.“I’d take whatever.But a boy….that’s good.A big brother to protect a little sister…..”

He had said it without thinking.When he looked at Sansa, she had a look of shock on her face.It took him a second to realize what he had said.He had said, in not so many words, that this wasn’t going to be their only child. 

“So, we are coming up on the big day.Just about a month left.From here on, you’re going to come in every week until you deliver,” Dr. Tarly told them.“In the meantime, go ahead and just live your life normally and I’ll see you next week.Oh and here some of the pictures from today’s scan.”She handed them to Jon.“You can see him perfectly.”

Jon took the pictures and helped Sansa right herself.As they walked to the car, he couldn’t think of what to say but he needed to break the silence.

“We should name him Bob,” he joked.“Teach him how to build shit.”

Sansa laughed.“You’re an idiot!Besides, I’ve already kind of thought of a name but you probably won’t like it.”

Jon opened the car door for her then walked around to the driver side.He waited to start the car.“Let’s hear it.It has to be better than what I came up with.”

“Brandon Aemon,” she said.“After our Uncles.”

Jon looked at the picture in his hand, a full scope shot of the baby’s face.“He looks like you thank the Gods.And….he looks like a Brandon.Brandon Aemon Snow.”

Sansa seemed happy that he had gone for her name choice.“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”He started the car and pulled out.“It works.”

A few days later, Jon found himself once again contemplating what the hell was going on.There was still no acknowledgement of their kiss.He knew it had affected her the same way it had him.He had felt.The way her lips moved against his, her fingers in his hair…the hand over his still broken heart.He smirked when he thought of the spike of jealousy she had exhibited. 

Clearly, she didn’t like the idea of Jon fucking another woman.And if it did happen, that’s all it would be.He might be able to fuck another woman but he knew he would never make love to anyone but Sansa.Even fucking someone else would require a level of desperation he wasn’t familiar with. Baring the months since Sansa left, he hadn’t gone more than a few days without sex so he couldn’t imagine being hard up enough to need to get a leg over with some random female.He also didn’t care for the idea of using another person as a sexual toy, regardless if they were willing.

It had been a long day, the majority of it spent at the other house with a contractor getting estimates for the work needing to be done.Sansa complained of feeling dirty and sticky when they got home so she had gone straight to shower.He managed to shower in minutes and was checking on Sansa when she came out of her bathroom wearing nothing but a towel. 

“I can’t wait until I can see my feet again,” she griped.“And can actually lotion all these nooks and crannies.”

Jon grabbed the bottle of cherry blossom lotion on her dresser.“Come here.”He put some of the lotion on his hand, rubbing them together and putting them on her shoulder.He massaged her shoulders, adding more lotion as he went down her arms.Without thinking, he pulled on the towel and was brought back into the moment when Sansa’s yanked back.

“What are you doing?” She demanded.

“Moisturizing.I didn’t think about it.I’m sorry.”

“I can manage,” she said.“Thank you.”

“Sansa….I have seen you naked before.And at least three of those times, we didn’t have sex.”He had a look of amusement on his face.“I can manage this.”

“You haven’t seen me naked like this…..”She pointed at her belly.

Jon paused for a moment.“I’d like to.”

“Seriously?” 

“More than anything,” he said.He slipped his finger under the fold where the towel was held together.He raised his eyebrow at her, silently asking permission….he was willing to beg.The slight nod he got from her felt like a weight off his chest.He slowly released the knot, tossing the towel on the bed. 

Rather than look at her bare skin, he continued putting lotion over her body.Her skin was warm under his hands, the smell of her lotion still turned him on, something he was trying to hide.Her belly was the last place he hadn’t covered.Jon braced his hands on either side of the swell, his thumbs swiping over the skin and swirling circles. He was focused on her middle when he heard her gasp and when he looked to her face, he caught the flush on her chest, her arousal tell.Their eyes met, he could see the darkening of the blue of her iris.He dipped his head down, kissing her collarbone. 

“I’m going to continue kissing you,” Jon said.“You tell me to stop when you want me to, if you want me to stop.”

Sansa nodded, biting her lip.

Jon kissed across her chest, his hands still massaging lotion across the skin on her belly, moving from one side to the other.The butterflies in his stomach increased when he felt her shiver.His lips traced a trail up her neck, pausing for a second to nip at the soft space under her chin.He kissed her chin before taking her mouth and swallowing the whine she let out. 

“My sweet girl,” he murmured against her lips.“You’re always going to be my sweet girl.”He gently turned her around, coating his hands again with lotion and sliding them down her back.Jon playfully skated over her ass, squeezing lightly before continuing down her legs.He stood back up, pushing her hair to the side to kiss the back of her shoulders and down her spine.Taking her hands, he placed them on the footboard of the bed.“Hold on to the bed.I don’t want you to fall.”

“Jon….” She whimpered.

“Is that…Jon keep going or Jon…you need to stop?” He asked.

“We shouldn’t be doing this….” She said.“It’s such a bad idea.”

Jon moved back up her body, his mouth next to her ear.“I know…but….it’s going to feel so good and you know it.Do you want me?”

Sansa gasped as Jon’s hands came around her hips, his fingers bracing her protruding middle.“Yes…Do you want me?”

“Oh Gods yes,” he said.“I want to touch you.Kiss you.Taste you on my lips…my tongue.I would give everything to hold you in my arms.”

“If I told you to stop,” Sansa said.“Would you?”

His stomach sank.“Yes.But it would be agony.”

“You’d be stuck with blue balls,” she teased.

“It wouldn’t hurt my cock Sansa,” he whispered in her ear.He turned her around to face him.Taking her hand, he placed it on his chest.“This, Sansa.”He used her palm to tap against his heart.“This.”

Sansa pressed him back, eyeing him.After what felt like forever, she stepped towards him, sliding her fingers under the hem of his tank top and pulling it over his head.She did the same with the waistband of his sweatpants but he grabbed her wrists before she could drop his pants to his ankles. 

“Let me…make you come,” he said.“Please…I want nothing more at this moment than to watch you peak.” 

Jon dropped to his knees, face level with her center and looked up for permission.Her fingers carding through his hair and pulling him towards her cunt practically made him come in his pants.He kissed the top of her mound gently, inhaling deeply before pressing his mouth to her completely.He played with her, teasingly until she pulled hard at his curls.“Lay down on the bed for me.”He guided her to the mattress, kissing her desperately as he lowered her to her back.Within seconds, he was back between her legs, listening to her beg.He carefully pressed two fingers inside of her, sucking her clit between his lips and flicking at it with his tongue.It must have been a while because she came quickly and he was able to bring her over two more times before she pushed him away, her body sensitive and jerking.Getting off the bed, he stood beside it and looked down at her.

“You are always so beautiful when you come.”He leaned down and kissed her lips softly.“And as usual, you taste….yeah…”. He licked his lips to make his point.“I’m going to bed.Yank my chain if you need me okay?”

“Jon…..”

“Good night my sweet girl,” he said.He turned off her light as he left for his bedroom.


End file.
